ZENA ZEPPELINS Interview by David Fingerhut Photography by Barnabas Savage VITAL STATS BORN: August 1, 1982 HOMETOWN: Bell End, Florida MAJOR: Stevedoring/Management HEIGHT: 5’ 4’’ WEIGHT: 130 lbs MEASUREMENTS: 38-24-37 TURN-ONS: stubble, suntan lotion, dinghies TURN-OFFS: snow, bigotry, Charlie Daniels HOBBIES: sailing, surfing, crystal radio kits FAVORITE MOVIE: Captain Ron FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: Thunder in Paradise FAVORITE SONG: “Thunder in Paradise Theme Song” ROLE MODEL: Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin FAVORITE FOOD: fried gulf shrimp MARITAL STATUS: Single I stroll through the double doors into Fat Sam’s (the local strip club) and my eyes behold a magnificent feast: a bevy of buxom surgically-enhanced babes, all hand-picked by Mr. Sam himself. Then I behold a second magnificent feast: a large, wooden peanut barrel by the stairwell. I gorge myself on peanuts for the next hour or so and then sit myself down at the foot of the stage. Fat Sam announces Zena over the loudspeaker and she seductively saunters out to the strains of Britny Fox’s “Girlschool”. She’s wearing next to nothing in the form of a Catholic school uniform – a sweaty, writhing, bouncy little package of adolescent fantasy. After she finishes, I introduce myself and we retire to one Sam’s private booths to talk. So, you’re from Florida. Man, that’s a wild town. It’s a state. I was in Daytona Beach for Spring Break last year. Yeah! Good times! Party naked ‘til you puke! High five! Spring break? How old are you? Forty-three! High five! No more “high fives”. Oh, I see... club policy. That’s cool by me. Hey! Do you know Jimmy Buffett? No. Too bad. That guy’s awesome. Oh! Do you know Dan Marino? No. I don’t know Dan Marino. Aw man. I wanted his autograph. Remember when he threw the ball and the guy made a touchdown? Yes! Excitement! Yeah. He was a good quarterback. Do you know Crockett and Tubbs? They’re fictional characters! And before you ask: No. I don’t know Scarface, Tom Petty, 2 Live Crew or the Golden Girls. Oh... well, that about wraps up my questions. That’s it? Uh, yeah. Why do you ask? So, you used your keen journalistic instincts to uncover that I was from Florida and I don’t know Dan Marino. Yeah. That was pretty good, huh? No. As an interviewer, you need to dig deep into the psyche of your subject. Aren’t you curious about how and why I got into stripping? No. Well, I come from a lower middle-class family. My father’s a fishmonger and he couldn’t afford to send me to college. So I found myself up to my ears in debt: student loans, text books, rent... and then one of my classmates told me about Fat Sam’s. She said that a girl could make really good money stripping. Upwards of $1500 a week. At first I was hesitant. I didn’t want to be objectified by the male gaze. But I gradually found it to be an enlivening, empowering experience. I found that my body gave me power over men. That I could- Hey! Are you sleeping? Huh? Did you say something about Dan Marino? No, Mr. Fingerhut. I was speaking about stripping as an a exercise in pro-feminist- How much for the lotion show? Thirty dollars. How much for a happy ending? Seventy-five. Now you’re talkin’! Let’s put this one on

Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude Trailer #4 (7.6MB)