Trailer #5, Interview and Screens: Leisure Suit Larry Magna Cum Laude

BARBARA JO BIMBO Interview by Garland Merriwether Photography by Barnabas Savage VITAL STATS BORN: May 12, 1983 HOMETOWN: Airhead, California MAJOR: Communications HEIGHT: 5’9” WEIGHT: 130 MEASUREMENTS: 34-20-34 TURN-ONS: puppy dogs, Sundays, ice cream TURN-OFFS: mean people, Charlie Daniels HOBBIES: cheerleading FAVORITE MOVIE: Strawberry Shortcake Meets the Berrykins FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: California Dreams FAVORITE SONG: “Brush Your Teeth” by Raffi ROLE MODEL: carrots FAVORITE FOOD: cereal MARITAL STATUS: single The Eta Omicron Zeta sorority house is a strange mélange of architectural styles. A standing monument to femininity. Rococo flourishes collide with the hard lines of Art Deco; all set in a sea of shocking pinks and tranquil blues. Barbara Jo emerges from the stairwell. She is a beautiful creature: with her clean complexion, button nose, sapphire eyes, lollipop lips, butterscotch hair, and tanned, athletic build. Though in spite of her beauty, one is struck by a certain vapid quality in her blank stare. We retire to the backyard, where two sun-dappled trampolines stand inert and black amidst the emerald hues of the well-manicured lawn. We sit side-by-side in matching lavender lounging chairs, sipping cool lemonade in the soft summer breeze. Hello, Barbara Jo. It is a pleasure to meet you. Hi, David. My name is Garland Merriwether. Where’s David? Allow me to explain: Our staff interviewer, Mr. David Fingerhut, who was scheduled to conduct this interview, has been reported missing. His rental car was found abandoned out on US Highway 70 in New Mexico. The police found several empty bottles of English Leather aftershave, a goat-castrating device, and a booklet of coupons for Carl’s Jr.; but curiously no sign of Mr. Fingerhut. Where’s David? Well I just got through explaining that, you see? He’s been reported missing so nobody knows where he is. Are you David? No. My name is Garland. Where’s David? Now it says here that you are a cheerleader. You know, cheerleading has a fascinating history. Historians credit its invention to one Thomas Peebles in 1884. Coincidentally, he was a Princeton man, like myself. What’s a Princeton? It’s a very highly-rated university in central New Jersey. Now your father is television host, Biff Barf, he met your mother, Barbara Bimbo, when she was a contestant on “The Dating Connection”. What was it like growing up in the shadow of his celebrity? My daddy’s on TV. Yes. I know that. I wanted to know your feelings growing up the daughter of a cultural icon. Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes I’m hungry. Yes. Hungry for fame... for wealth... to emerge from the shadow of your father’s celebrity? I like french fries. Yes... “Hungry for french fries.” I’m bored. Yes. It would seem for a brief, fleeting moment in time, we two think alike. Do you like dancing? I love dancing. Let’s go out to the Power Station and dance! No, I am gay. Thank you, this concludes our interview.